"If you haven't done anything wrong, you wouldn't be afraid of the cops and you wouldn't run/fight/resist."

Alright then. Think back to elementary school. You are sitting in your red plastic chair, reading your SSR book when the principal walks in. "(Your name), follow me to my office," he says in a booming, authoritative voice. Your head spins. You always do your homework, you never copy anyone else's answers, you sit still and listen, and you don't take other people's things. "I didn't do anything wrong!" you think, but then you second guess yourself. Maybe you forgot one of the rules. Maybe there was a new rule that no one told you about. Maybe the principal could read your mind and knew that you said naughty words in there! The entire class stares silently as you walk out. You are now convinced that you've committed a million different infractions and scared out of your mind.

The principal stops in the middle of the hallway to chat with a teacher. He is turned away from you for a full thirty seconds. If you were to run, you would be out the door in ten or fewer. You are eight years old and terrified. What would you do? 

If you were a more level-headed child, as I doubt many of us were, you might have realized that the principal might be pulling you out because you've done something good.

Police rarely stop anyone to point out how well-behaved they are.

You are fifteen, walking to a convenience store after dark because your parents aren't home yet and you really want some Fritos. All your lawnmowing money is in one pocket of your black hoodie, and you're walking fast because there have been muggings recently and you're a bit on edge. You aren't paying much attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, a police officer hustles around a corner and directly into your path. You are startled. You try to move past him, but he orders you to stop. Your head spins again. Your father told you once that the police were useless in your town. They didn't care who was guilty or innocent, everyone was a criminal in their eyes. He said that the best thing to do was to stay out of trouble and never give them a reason to notice you. Whether or not that's true, you are afraid. You don't use drugs, shoplift, get into fights, or drive unlicensed. You wonder if the cop could have somehow found out about the beer you sneaked at your friend's house last weekend. Or maybe he knew that you knew your older brother smoked pot on Friday nights and didn't turn him in. But you are a bit more rational now, and you realize the cop has no reason to hold you- but he could find one if you stick around. While running through potential reasons, you have missed the officer's instructions. When you take off, the only thing in your head is pure fear. However, while running through possibilities in your head you have missed the officer's instructions, and he now has reason to hold you.

Fear is a basic human reaction, and it occurs even when there is no rational reason to be afraid- more so when one has been taught to be afraid, whether or not that fear is warranted in reality. When people are afraid, they distort and misjudge situations and even surrender to the fight-or-flight instinct. This is a basic fact of human nature. Instinct works first, conscience works later. Reasoning and higher order thinking are severely compromised when a person is afraid.

Furthermore, if it is reasonable for a highly trained and experienced cop like Darren Wilson to become so irrational under fear that he sent six bullets into an unarmed man, then how can we expect the average citizen of a protesting community, raised to distrust and fear the police and entirely unaccustomed to high-risk situations, to hold on to their rationality when approached by police? Resisting arrest is a crime, but is in no way a sign of an unclean conscience.

(tumblr repost)

Dear Auntie...

"My girlfriend and I (m) have been dating for over a year. She's great in every way, but there's one thing that's making me really frustrated.

We've been sleeping together for about a year. And she's great in bed, but I feel really unfulfilled sometimes. Whenever one of us wants to try something we'll talk about it, but there is one thing she won't try. See, I really want her to blow me, but she's uncomfortable with the idea. We haven't really discussed it even though we have great communication on everything else. The times I've asked why she doesn't want to blow me, she's given a vague answer about being uncomfortable with it or mentions a "mental wall."

And I don't want to be a dick and force her to do something, but this is a problem and it's affecting our relationship. I just don't feel excited about having sex with her. And if she weren't so reluctant about blowing me, that might change. I absolutely understand that she might be uncomfortable with the idea, but I just feel like there's something missing from our sex life. We've tried other exciting things and those are great, but I really want her to blow me. And every time I've asked her why she won't just do it she gives the same vague answers about mental walls and being uncomfortable and won't give a better explanation. What should I do? Do I just drop the subject and hope she feels more comfortable with this later on, or is there anything else I could do?"

------------------------------------------------------

In the interests of not creating a straw man argument, I'm not going to write a response to this hypothetical letter. But if I were going to, what should I say? Should I encourage the writer to wait and respect his girlfriend's boundaries regardless of when they might change, or should I propose an "anything else"? Would I be promoting rape culture if I suggested the latter? What would you think of someone who writes a letter like this in the first place? Are his girlfriend's boundaries and explanations reasonable? Does she owe him more? What does her "no" mean?

Now, what do you think about this?

http://community.sparknotes.com/2014/07/29/auntie-sparknotes-my-boyfriend-wont-do-certain-sexy-things

Has your opinion of the writer and the response changed in any way? Why?

Should it?

I'm too lazy to write my own post, so here's a link to someone else's.

What is love?

A little SL-induced rant.

Sweeping generalizations have no place in discussion of a specific situation.

You cannot make an overarching statement such as, "Attractive people always get promoted first," and expect to apply it blindly to every situation you come across. Sometimes, you and the rule will be wrong.

Now, if you were to throw out the name of a black man and the name of a white man and tell me they both lived in Birmingham in the 1960s and then ask me whose life was better, I wouldn't be able to answer. And then you'd look at me and say, "But that's such an easy question." And I'd look back at you and say,

"Okay. No one can deny that the black man hasn't had an easy life, what with him being paid a whole dollar less per hour at the auto factory where he works, and not even being able to take breaks in the same room as his white coworkers. And even now, he's still scarred from the stories his grandma told him as a child, the ones about watching her childhood best friend's father be lynched in his backyard. But at least he's inherited the family house, small though it may be, and his wife brings in some money too with her sewing. They're raising their daughter alright.

Now, the white man may have a house three times bigger in a gated neighborhood, but he's about to lose that just like he lost his job, and his wife, and his kids. Because white picket fences couldn't keep the flu out, and now he's afraid he has it too. There's nothing more tragic than a man left all alone to confront his own mortality, especially when he's afraid he'd done injury to God in his younger, carefree days.

Which one has it better? In this case, I think that's an easy question."

Now, if you had spoken of the general population of blacks and the general population of whites, that would certainly have been an easy question. No one doubts that segregation affected blacks much more adversely than whites. Yet attaching names that tie to individual people can reverse the conclusion, because while an institution deals with masses, each individual in that mass has his or own set of circumstances that are shifted at the forefront when the situation changes to center upon them.

And regardless of what the trend may be, you don't know shit about an individual case unless you know about the specific situation. It could well be a white man who had it worse during a time of segregation, it could be a thin girl whose self-esteem takes the greater hit from modern beauty ideals. Even when "better" and "worse" are measurable, for example in economic terms (just don't get me started on how you cannot determine how much emotional pain a person does or should experience), it is impossible to know exactly which scenario is the most problematic when all you're given is an identity and a generalized rule. Yes, maybe one side is favoured institutionally or has privilege, but that doesn't mean individual variances are now nonexistent and every member of a class suffers the same amount, in the same way. There are always exceptions to the trend.

Let's stop passing judgment on whose issues are worse, better, or more deserving of redress. Suffering is not a competition.

#CUT4BIEBER?! What the fuck is wrong with people?! Really, the concept that young girls with loving families and less than two decades of life experience behind them will compromise themselves physically and psychologically as a "sacrifice" to offer their beloved idol? This is something that happens in primitive, extinct societies. Not 21st century America. I can't blame the music itself, but the sensationalism surrounding teen stars like Bieber eats at the souls of naive young girls. I blame our fixation on our perfectly airbrushed stars. And my goodness, being into this is considered normal?!

Rock out and stay sane. I say this with pride. \m/

Dear society,

It's appalling how many people don't know shit about mental illnesses but think their "treatment plans" are more valid than a psychiatrist's.

A somewhat angry social commentary, because I haven't written one in a while.

I get sick of seeing people constantly on their cell phones.
I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Whenever I mention my annoyance to other people, they look at me and nod their heads. And then they tilt their heads back down and continue texting.
So I might not be the only one, but I may be the only one who's not a hypocrite.

Now I understand that if you have a secret boyfriend you can't meet in person, texting and Facebook messaging might be the only contact you have over a weekend, but is it really too much to stop it for ten minutes during dinner?
Or to not have headphones in during a single 5-minute car ride to the pizza place?
Or to not be snapping and uploading pictures of yourself during a family gathering, while watching a video of your cousin (me) performing, that you specifically asked to see?

And don't get me started on the people on phones during a show itself. I understand that you might be more interested in videotaping a concert than watching it yourself, but seriously, the light from the screen is screwing up everyone else's vision and your giant iPhone is blocking my line of sight.
And I understand that you might not be interested in watching a symphony orchestra and that you might just be there because your best friend is performing, but do you really need to tweet about how bored you are during a performance of Bruch's Violin Concerto in A minor that took four months to learn?
I've even seen people (my orchestra stand partner, to specify) texting during rehearsals. Every time the conductor cuts us off to correct something, she will pick up her phone- which is on the stand, usually vibrating and shaking the music- and quickly tap out a text to either her boyfriend or one of 5+ exes.
I just don't understand it.

And what about those people who text friends while hanging out with other friends? I mean, if you say, "We have to hang out soon, because we haven't seen each other in so long!" I expect that you're actually interested in talking to me, not texting "i luhh youuu and we need to hanggg" to a kid you saw half an hour ago, while complaining to me about how much they annoy you. I don't think it is as much as you annoy me right now.

I'm not saying I'd like to confiscate the entire world's phones and burn them to black ash in a raging inferno (maybe just my stand partner's...), but can we all agree to take a rest during social situations? How many conversations can you really hold at once? Skilled multitaskers of the world may disagree (oh wait, they don't exist), but I can only have one. And really, if you're so bored during the one exchange, then maybe you should find some new friends who don't leave you wanting an escape every time you talk.

Your thumbs will thank you.

My favorite rogue artist:

Rise Against - Survivor Guilt

Standardized testing.

10 reasons to ban gay marriage.

I have never heard a valid argument against gay marriage.

You can't expect the world to be sterilized for you.


Stuff isn't going to go away just because you don't like it.

Why it's annoying to have musicians for friends.

(follow-up to this post)

1.) They're CONSTANTLY SINGING.

2.) It's harder to concentrate during rehearsals when you're surrounded by friends.

3.) Jealousy.

4.) No one ever has any time to hang out.

5.) You have to go to every single concert and recital and show and performance. (But you'll probably enjoy them.)

6.) Competition.

7.) You know when a friend thinks they're really good at something, and they really turn out to suck at it, but they're your best friend and you can't tell them? YEAH.

Why No Child Left Behind is bullshit.

Read

Happy PSSA season, Pennsylvania students.

Dear world...

Why blogging is better than Facebook.

1.) You aren't obliged to follow anyone's blog just because they're your mom's half-sister's third cousin.

2.) You don't have to use your real name when you blog. You can use your Killjoy name, like me.

(props to anyone who understands)

3.) No duckfaces. Except cute ones, like this:

4.) No LMS posts. And if some attention whore posts "I'm ugly", you can just unfollow her.

5.) Trolling is easier, especially when #2 is in effect. (Absolutely a good thing.)

6.) Pointed passive-aggressive posts are encouraged, as long as they're entertaining.

7.) Stuff you blog might actually matter. Whereas, no one ever changed the world through Facebook. (Except in Tunisia, and Egypt, and what was my point again?)

8.) Blogger doesn't constantly ask you "Do you know these people?" or encourage you to "Find More Friends!" because the 120 friends the average Facebook user has (it probably rises to about 300 for high school students) aren't enough.

(Anyone else find this creepy and intrusive?)

9.) You can share more than just misspelled statuses, drunk pictures, and "LIKE THIS PAGE" links. And if you decide to share your location, Blogger won't pinpoint it on a map for your friends to see.

10.) Dumb people generally don't blog.

Do you see the difference?

Anti-Immigration propaganda under Bush

Anti-Jewish propaganda under Hitler

I don't.

The Death of Music.

When these talentless kids are allowed to cover some of the best songs ever (in my opinion), you know the music apocalypse is upon us.

Broken CD shards are raining from the sky, burning sheet music provides the only light, and the sun is obscured by THIS face- the face they all worship...

The only way to salvation... blocking your ears from the horrible wails of Kidz Bop singers and the screaming masses... Only music will save you.

End drama.

But seriously, these are some of the songs they've covered.

• Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
• The Only Exception by Paramore
• Can't Buy Me Love, Let It Be and other once-beautiful songs from the Beatles
• Bring Me to Life and My Immortal by Evanescence (Don't listen to this. DON'T.)
• How to Save A Life and Over My Head by The Fray
• Move Along by All-American Rejects
• Speed of Sound by Coldplay
• In The End by Linkin Park (I refuse to listen.)