Dear Auntie...

"My girlfriend and I (m) have been dating for over a year. She's great in every way, but there's one thing that's making me really frustrated.

We've been sleeping together for about a year. And she's great in bed, but I feel really unfulfilled sometimes. Whenever one of us wants to try something we'll talk about it, but there is one thing she won't try. See, I really want her to blow me, but she's uncomfortable with the idea. We haven't really discussed it even though we have great communication on everything else. The times I've asked why she doesn't want to blow me, she's given a vague answer about being uncomfortable with it or mentions a "mental wall."

And I don't want to be a dick and force her to do something, but this is a problem and it's affecting our relationship. I just don't feel excited about having sex with her. And if she weren't so reluctant about blowing me, that might change. I absolutely understand that she might be uncomfortable with the idea, but I just feel like there's something missing from our sex life. We've tried other exciting things and those are great, but I really want her to blow me. And every time I've asked her why she won't just do it she gives the same vague answers about mental walls and being uncomfortable and won't give a better explanation. What should I do? Do I just drop the subject and hope she feels more comfortable with this later on, or is there anything else I could do?"

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In the interests of not creating a straw man argument, I'm not going to write a response to this hypothetical letter. But if I were going to, what should I say? Should I encourage the writer to wait and respect his girlfriend's boundaries regardless of when they might change, or should I propose an "anything else"? Would I be promoting rape culture if I suggested the latter? What would you think of someone who writes a letter like this in the first place? Are his girlfriend's boundaries and explanations reasonable? Does she owe him more? What does her "no" mean?

Now, what do you think about this?

http://community.sparknotes.com/2014/07/29/auntie-sparknotes-my-boyfriend-wont-do-certain-sexy-things

Has your opinion of the writer and the response changed in any way? Why?

Should it?