I no longer require three large spoonfuls of sugar in my tea, and that is how I know I am growing up.
I had a rather bad day not too long ago. I had been rushing down a corridor on the eighth floor of a building, exhausted to the point where Reality bent, when it occurred to me that had only the plate-glass windows that lined the halls had latches, I could so easily jump and let that be that and perhaps it would be proper. The little ghosties in my head would not let me have my thoughts to myself so I shut them in with me and did not leave my room again for about another eight hours, at which point I realized that I had neither eaten nor spoken all day. It's quite simple to just let time pass, to curl up in your bedsheets and feel it ravage your mind. I have decided to take better care of myself, though. I will not let other people's voices become ghosties in my head, I will do what is best for myself without contemplating their disapproval.
I have realized that it is better to expend the physical energy to leave a draining situation than to exhaust half of my mental energy to sit paralysed and shut everything out. This experiment in loyalty must have those bounds at least.
Good night.
