I really ought to create a glossary of metaphors. I suppose I will another night.

On friendship and the need to sleep before midnight for once.

The worst feeling in the world is wanting to talk to someone who's far away, but having nothing to say.

No, scratch that. The worst feeling in the world is wanting to talk to someone who's far away, having nothing to say, and knowing that without something to say that person will have no idea you are thinking of them.

There are friendships in which neither person needs to say anything of importance in order to renew the connection. Blame social anxiety for this, perhaps, but on a good day I would consider myself to have one of these at the most. And there are friendships in which neither person ever says anything of importance, and the bond is never renewed. Why are these so hard to break out of?

I hate to admit that even I, the shadow-dweller, am starved for companionship sometimes. I hate to admit it, but eventually I must, because the alternative is breaking in other ways. And so the cycle begins. I return, find myself disillusioned, fade, and return. I am too inconsistent to break out. Why give in? Because it's only fair to be the first to fade after all this trouble...


I do not know who, if anyone, reads this blog anymore, but I apologize if I have offended anyone. Perhaps I should leave those minutes following midnight for rest rather than writing.