unending
all ending

in cycles is there any meaning?

pointless to continue
pointless to stop

perhaps i could go on
(but still)
pointless to go on
pointless to not

a smile or a good story are enough to mean something, they say
this is still perfect blankness
no pleasure and no memory
pure compulsion

insanity: try again, maybe you're wrong

how many times will this keep repeating?

sometimes the greyness just comes
(it doesn't call ahead)
it might be good and it might be bad, though grey is the opposite of both
and it devours

but everything is still here
it's just a new filter
greyscale

it looks like the outside but i know it's me because everyone else is still deluded

and now

something is off
something is very off
it's been crooked since the morning
and i know it's me because no one else feels (?) it

how do you know what's true when you believe one thing by day and another by night?

pointless to let the words out
pointless to keep them in

after all, i don't speak of what you might think

they're never enough to say it
(contrived by nature)
(i no longer write for me)
so i just keep adding more
(please let me be found someday)

but it's late
there is nothing left to do
and the blades of the fan creak out a persistent heartbeat