Your obligatory incoherent rant.

I. Do you ever get the feeling that everything is so contradictory
I mean, how can something or someone appear one way but be so another?
are they all just lying to me? Or is it something more...
and I mean, we're all the same, but how is it that they're the same as me?
and really there is no truth at all
(besides that I'm a solipsist worse than Descartes, but really that's all I know)
but I mean, how many can one person hold?
and why am I worrying about the nature of humanity, I have much more pressing concerns like my physics grade and tomorrow night's plans

II. and I come to write, but the concreteness of words dissolve the iron resistance of that feeling

III. If you've been here for long enough, you may notice that certain posts are conspicuously missing from the sidebar, don't try to find them because they're done with
and it's too bad you still won't forget

IV. and when things are over
they're over
and it's kind of sad

unless it's not

V. but it could just take me, right now
I really don't understand why it hasn't yet

source

My life keeps turning into Tegan and Sara songs.

Bluebeard is a FedEx truck driver.

Isn't insomnia great?

Damn you fucked up circadian rhythms, it's 5 am, shouldn't I be tired? Even Emilie Autumn only mentioned being up at 4...

Wh- what is this feeling? I haven't felt it in months...
I don't know...
It's peace of mind.

The first bird began to sing at 4:24 am.

Want to hear some life-changing music? Listen to MCR:

Because metal can't be beautiful.

 

no, symphonic is not cheating

I suppose it says something that I'm completely unafraid to go out and wander unfamiliar streets in an unfamiliar city past dusk, after all the shops have closed and the streetlights have turned on, alone.

(Or that I'll publicly challenge a conspiracy theorist standing on the street handing out anti-CIA propaganda.)

Just call me the Ladye of Shalott.

Insomnia.

who needs sleep

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8473389@N03/5191948277

when you're here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13382424@N00/4946934291

but there are so many people outside

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8749778@N06/2353500128

that I'm stuck here again

but I really just want to wander


http://www.flickr.com/photos/51035555243@N01/6577429683

I don't like spending this much time inside.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/45651718@N08/4699775305

Nothing has changed.

Everything has changed, but still I am the same.

You can't run and you can't hide from the demons eating you from the inside.

Anyway, I'm sitting on the step of Wigglesworth H at Harvard and typing while listening to noise off the street. No, I'm not locked out, I'm just sick of being locked in. Thank you for your concern.

I love it here. Everything is so much more human, and it's impossible to feel like you're not. I really am learning here. I've become that person who sits in classes they're not even assigned to just because they're interesting.

You know, the best things about knowledge and imagination are that they keep you company when you're virtually confined in a box. Boxes include, but are not limited to, dorm rooms, lecture halls, classrooms, houses, any place with four walls and a ceiling.

Why do I need an escape from my escape?

Here it becomes circular. I'd like to talk with my philosophy professor about the nature of escapism. I think it would be an interesting discussion.

This is why I can't become attached to anyone or anything here (sorry). I don't want to make it harder to leave when it's time to. I don't want an anchor anymore.

Day by day, I fight the fever alone.

all the bright lights in the world
cannot illumine what's burnt out in me

... And here we are.


 
Funny thing is, I actually used to be able to do that.

Oftentimes a person who posts inspirational cliches is just trying to convince themself.